Tip #1 - Time out!
Take time out even if it is just 5 or 10 minutes every day, where you take the time out to do something for yourself which you enjoy. It might be watching a comedy clip or giving yourself a head massage with oil-it can be anything!
Tip #2 - Toddler groups
Attend local toddler groups, sensory baby groups, free baby massage classes, library story time sessions. Even your local mosque or church may run toddler groups. You don't have to wait till the baby is a toddler to attend-I used to go with my 2-month-old.
Tip #3 - Nap when you can
Try to nap when the baby sleeps especially during the newborn stage. Ask family to help look after the baby, whilst you nap, especially if you are having a difficult day. My baby hardly naps, but I have found that taking him on a walk in the pram or attending the toddler group tires him out and he always naps for longer after these types of activities.
Tip #4 - Keep in touch with midwife/health visitor/GP
Sometimes it is easy to just say you are fine, when you are not. However, it is important to seek help if you are struggling. Having closer support from your midwife/health visitor/GP can help prevent your depression from worsening. They can also discuss treatment options including counselling and if indicated medication or referral to the specialist perinatal mental health team. My health visitor helped to organise baby massage sessions for bonding with my baby and also organised a local baby group session for new mothers which really helped.
Tip #5 -Have an activity to look forward to in a week
Aim to visit at least one place in a week- whether that is a walk in the local park, town centre, farm, sensory playroom, museum, beach, national trust place etc. Have something to look forward to as sometimes we can get used to the comfort of staying at home and become isolated.
Tip #6 - Go for a walk, get some fresh air!
Aim to go for a walk with the baby in the pram or baby carrier-even if it is for 10 or 20 minutes. In colder weather you should still go out, just make sure your wrap up with the pram cover- if raining/very windy and baby blankets/coats. I was worried if I went out in colder weather my baby will catch a cold, but he actually did fine. Try walking to a local park/supermarket/village centre or even just around the block.
Tip #7 - Shower
It may sound silly but feeling clean and fresh at the start of the day/end of the day can make you feel better in yourself. I used to find it hard to find time to do this, but realised sometimes you need to make the time, or you end putting any form of self-care last.
Tip #8 - Change into day clothes
You may think it is pointless as they will get covered in baby's vomit or food but making the effort to dress and look presentable will make you feel good.
Tip #9 - Talk it out
Keep in touch with family and friends on a regular basis, especially those who have a positive or supportive nature. Sometimes you may need a good cry or moan about how terrible your day has gone or how rubbish you are feeling.
Tip #10 - Play with your baby
Taking 10 or 15 minutes out every day to simply sit with your baby and give them your whole attention-talking, cuddling, playing with them is important for bonding. I remember feeling like I have so many chores to do, I haven't even dressed or cooked but then also feeling guilty for not giving my baby enough time. Some people get told they are spoiling their baby by picking them up, but this is not true, enjoy the precious moments whilst you can as time goes by so quickly.
You are not alone in how you are feeling. Seek help.
Please check out the following online resources for more information on post-natal depression and mental health services available.